1. |
Angell Woods
02:16
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right now
the morning light is breaking past the window
it’s tearing through the curtains
somehow
the winning side is looking like the worst bet
when winning has no purpose
you want
to try and celebrate your death
the way you’ll go away
to find some kind of regimen
an order in your reckoning
now
lights out
the row of homes contained behind the tree line
the uniform division
barn owl
the predator returns back to the ground
with no use for its vision
you want
to try and celebrate your death
the way you’ll go away
to find some kind of regimen
an order in your reckoning
now
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2. |
This Time of Year
02:49
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lay down
the floor is colder now than it was in June
when everything felt warmer
right now
the exit signs are counting down to zero
but i’ll be gone by 2
there’s a feeling i can’t explain that comes this time of year
it makes me want you near
the overpasses i would watch the cars on at eighteen
well now i’m underneath
yellow lines and fishing wire keep tying us together
but i’m not feeling closer than before
i wish i could feel more
somehow
the only thing that’s keeping me alive
is trying to find a reason to be
and i’m down
to never set foot back into the city
i’m gone for the next season
at least
there’s a feeling i can’t explain that comes this time of year
it makes me want you near
the overpasses i would watch the cars on at eighteen
well now i’m underneath
yellow lines and fishing wire keep tying us together
but i’m not feeling closer than before
i wish i could feel more
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3. |
The Alexander
02:31
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i’m learning self control
when i pass the Alexander
when i leave the record store
and i’m somehow empty-handed
September comes to call
little boy
September’s all around you
you’ve scattered on the floor
little boy
while i’ve got things to tend to
i’m not your lover
and i won’t be your friend
i’m not your lover
and i’m not your friend
i’m learning self control
when i pass the Alexander
she’s gentle on the call
and i forget that i can’t stand her
November comes to call
little boy
she’s lavender and leather
you haven’t pushed at all
little boy
and i’ve got better things to tend to
i’d like to see you try
i’d like you to remember
i’d like to see you try
i’d like to see you
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4. |
66
02:27
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light hits the lens like the sun hits the asphalt in August on route 66
burning the skin of your arms off the bone, it’s just violence disguised as a kiss
hiding in cupboards and alleyways
haunted apartments
telephones calls that you missed
full sink in the kitchen
and trash in the driveway
learning the truth of impermanence the hard way
there is a level crossing cutting through main street that hasn’t been used in a year
makes for a great spot to loiter past dark
where the wasters crack open a beer
those guys are me just a couple of months ago
sitting with legs folded over Park avenue
digging through cellars with open hands
grasping at straws
grasping at uncertain plans
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5. |
Three Hundred Thousand
02:39
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if i can’t get to where you are tonight
i’ll drive in circles the same
and when the mileage is the point of the car
three hundred thousand doesn’t seem so far, ah-ah
in the moment where the axis is off
it’s not who i am but it’s not who i’m not
and when the intersection comes to a halt
i recall
that i miss the run to the train
i found a letter i wrote with Lane
that i thought i had lost when we both moved away
red light you’ve been a friend of mine
crossing the line between love, space and time
and when the freezing rain has coated the ground
we fall down
and on the corner block of Barrington
we wait for the bus while we wait for the sun
she said that every passenger is only a shell
she can tell
that everything i do is in shame
losing sleep over calls and tracking planes
and i’m crushed by the dark room where i lay
again
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6. |
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[matteo]
i’ve been standing in the tall grass split in half
looking down
gathering pieces from the living room floor
i’ve been an object in the shape of a man
wandering into the traffic lights
for a midnight message at the bedroom door
i’ve been standing in the college parking lot
for an hour or two
orange light from the neighbourhood watch
time and space is bent by the highway lines
and the sound of friends
but you know that dorm rooms aren’t the same at twenty-two
[gareth]
save all my secrets till they turn to dust
and all my trust is laid out in the spite
in your coldest shoulder
sweating on a summer night
rolling down my back like water
drowning out the armour
come home, back to my body
or disappear
sometimes i wish i never knew to mourn
the feeling of relief can’t hold off all my love
but the way the war forgot me
place your hand in burning concrete
so i can come back in 20 years and call your bluff
so i can come back in 20 years and feel your touch
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7. |
Cemetery
03:04
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here she comes again
in a burning blaze of independence
and i rack my brain to send
my fondest wishes as a penance
i’ve been where she resides
in the autumn wind and constellations
and though her body dies
her memory will come to save us
i’ve crossed a line
i’ve followed bones
in a horrid show of desperation
i’ve been walked home
in a humbling humiliation
he’s waiting at the door
with eyes that i once called the kindest
and a violent look of horror
as i use his tombstone as a footrest
i flicker at the ends
the wire’s burning through the rubber
and i strive to comprehend
the act of being someone’s lover
i’ve been where he resides
in the empty hallway of confusion
and the synapses’ divide
define what it means to be human
i’ve seen the edge
i’ve dug a hole
in a vapid show of self-negation
and i walk him home
for a last sadistic conversation
he’s watching from the door
with eyes that i once called the kindest
and a violent look of horror
as i start to draw the blinds regardless
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8. |
Oxford
02:21
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sprawled out in the living room
dust gets still, suspended in the orange sun
drawing lines above the staircase
warm light meets picture frames
not one mine, but still they will remain
on the wall
when i’m long gone
and everything will come to end
it’s always on my mind
but for the first time
everything keeps changing and i’m fine
night walk in the same direction
say ‘hello’ with a similar inflection
the kitchen’s clean
burnt toast and magazines
ten minutes from the coast
i’ve been many times but it’s her first
so we take the long way
we reach the cliff and i say
everything will come to end
it’s always on my mind
every minute of the day
everything current in the bay
everything will come to end
it’s always on my mind
but for the first time
everything keeps changing and i’m fine
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9. |
Goodbye Blue Monday
02:10
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tried to write a victory song
but i don’t have a cause for celebration
brushing the concrete and dust from my knees
someone walked me home last night
i would rather be alone but it’s
better than falling asleep at the wheel
when you’re watching the nights become days
and the bus driver asks you the way
well c’mon - isn’t this your job man?
when the last neighbour turns out the lights
and the cops are patrolling outside
i sit on the hill
embarrassed by the morning sun
the houses look the same
and so does everyone
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Allan Hill Montreal, Québec
some songs written & recorded in my room
Allan Hill recommends:
Carrie & Lowell
by Sufjan Stevens
The best album in recorded history. Favourites: Death with Dignity, Should Have Known Better, Eugene, John my Beloved, No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross
go to album
Favourites: Lark, New Love Cassette, What It Is, Tonight, Endgame
go to album
Soft Sounds From Another Planet
by Japanese Breakfast
Favourites: Diving Woman, Soft Sounds from Another Planet, Boyish, 12 Steps, The Body is a Blade, Till Death
go to albumIf you like Allan Hill, you may also like:
Virtual Heaven
by Infinity Crush
Despite its themes of isolation and loneliness, Caroline White's latest batch of folk-pop confessionals is an LP brimming with confidence.
go to album
Here in the Pitch
by Jessica Pratt
On her fourth album, Jessica Pratt blends up 60s pop and bossa nova into a spooky mix of soft psychedelia.
go to album
If you have a fondness for expertly wrought roots-rock with sharp lyrics and aching vocals, look no further—“Strangers” is for you.
go to album
